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In the World of Dating, Appearance is Everything

Online dating, dating coaches and matchmaking companies provide you instant relief when searching for a date or new relationship.  What they don’t provide are image and wardrobe services that are the most important tool for successful relationships.  In the world of dating, image is everything.  Your appearance is very important and  plays a key role when it comes to new relationships and first dates.  To ensure a successful and lasting first impression, one should consider seeking the help of an Image Consultant.  Dating sites provide an unlimited amount of photographs in which members are free to browse.  Women will look at your online photos and decide instantly whether they are interested in getting to know more about you.  Although shallow, photographs speak a thousand words; none of which you have actually had the chance to say.  What do your photos and image say about you to a potential seeker?  Matchmaking services rely on the same medium however, they ask their members to provide a steeper fee and promise better results.  They essentially set you up on a blind date based on chemistry, photos and attraction.  It is important to present an extraordinary self image without making it look obvious.

The photos used to represent your on-line self-image should be a clear interpretation of your personality and lifestyle.  The goal is to captivate a potential mate and line up a first date.  To do so, you will need to focus on one aspect of your image to establish a successful photo.  If you have a charming smile, good bone structure, sexy eyes or great hair; a head shot would be ideal to portray your best features.  If you are a serial dater and solely rely on matchmaking services or on-line dating to land a relationship; it is best to have some professional photos taken.  When prepping for a photo, much like the first date,  put some extra TLC into your grooming regimen.  Before the photo is taken, make sure you are groomed appropriately. If you have decided to allow a friend take the photos for you (to save costs), you should still adhere to proper grooming techniques. Run down the following checklist prior to the day of your photo-shoot.

  • Hair:  Your hair should be worn in a normal everyday style.  If you are planning on getting a haircut or color, then do so prior to your photo shoot.  You want your photograph to be a current representation of your appearance.  Do not apply an alarming amount of hair gel or products.  If you normally wear an excessive amount of products, then it may be time for a new hairstyle!
  • Skin: Your head-shot is close-up introduction to your face, therefore; your skin should be flawless or at least appear clear and clean. If you have blemishes or breakouts they should be addressed several days prior to your photo-shoot.  Last minute solutions will not allow the skin to heal or clear itself in time. Typically, a blemish needs 2-3 days to disappear if taken care of properly.  For breakouts or pimples, apply a small amount of raw lemon juice onto the area.  You don’t need a lot, just a few drops with your finger.  Repeat the process morning and night before your go to bed or until the blemish is gone.
  • Eyebrows:  Uni-brows are unacceptable.  Have your eyebrows trimmed and waxed to ensure they are two separate units instead of one.  Nail salons usually provide eyebrow waxing services for men.
  • Shirt: A close-up photograph will usually include a hint of the shirt you wear.  Do not wear anything distracting or overtly bright.  Wear a T-shirt or button shirt that will add a subtle frame to your face.
  • Facial hair: If you normally have a clean shaven face, keep it that way for your photo.  A 5’o-clock shadow is charming on some men as well.  Present your facial hair in a clean and polished way.
  • Lips: keep your lips soft with chap-stick!  Nobody wants to see a close-up of cracked, dry lips.

If your facial features are not ready for their close-up then perhaps you should use a full body photograph to represent your image.  In addition to the above grooming tips, you will also have to focus on your clothing attire.  My Image Expert offers Male Makeovers that will help you with grooming tips and wardrobe selection for your dating life and photo-shoot.  Their image consultants recommend wearing something that best portrays your physical attributes, personality and lifestyle.  For example, if you are a physical trainer do not wear a 3-piece for your photo-shoot.  Wear something that best describes YOU.  If you wear a suit to work every day and your wardrobe consists of mostly career and professional clothes, then it is best to utilize these garments to characterize your self-image.  Ultimately, you’re dating profile or image should imitate your charm while accenting your personality.  In order to orchestrate a successful full body shot you should adhere to the following guideline:

  1. Face the camera: make sure you present a full frontal image. You should not be sitting down, bending over or skydiving.  The picture should only include one person; you! 
  2. Make eye contact: Your eyes are the window to your soul.  Be sure to look at the camera when taking a proper photo.  If you are shy then look just above the camera or slightly to the left or right.  When women look at your photo, they want to feel a connection.
  3. Perfect posture: It is important to look relaxed while maintaining good posture otherwise you could come across as being awkward.  Find a comfortable, practical pose and own it!
  4. Your self-image will also be judged by your clothing selections.  Wear clothes that are ideal for your image. Clothing makes the man so your selection should be subtle, clean, stylish and savvy.  This will be discussed again below.
  5. Current: your photo should represent your image in a current way.  Backdrops and silly props are perceived as, “trying too hard” and outdated.  You do not want women to think you’re behind the times or stuck in a time capsule.

Once you have put together a successful image for your dating profile photo, you will then need to focus on the actual date itself.  In the world of dating and relationships, image is everything.  The first date can make or break you in a matter of seconds. Just like men, women know right away whether they are attracted or interested in you.  You will be scored instantly based on your image and body language so it is crucial to ensure a lasting first impression.  You appearance will be the first thing your date notices; make sure you are groomed and dressed accordingly.  The same grooming tips above still apply in a real life situation but since you are presenting yourself in-person you will need to take a few extra steps.  Women spend a lot of time preparing for a first date and will appreciate the extra effort so be sure to:

  • Make sure you smell nice. A subtle hint of cologne should do the trick.  Try to wear a warm scent and avoid anything sweet or cheap.  If your aftershave is scented,  that will provide enough musk.  Don’t overkill your masculine scent by wearing too much cologne or mixing smells together.  When you lean in to give your date a kiss on the cheek or a hug, you don’t want her gasping for air.
  • Have clean skin. If you face is dry or chapped, then moisturize it throughout the day prior to your date.  Exfoliating gets rid of dead skin cells, so you may want to take the extra step if needed.  Your date will be steadily focused on your face so make sure your skin is in good condition.
  • Offer soft hands. Then nothing worse than hands that feel like sand paper.
  • Make sure you don’t have bad breathe.  This should speak for itself.

When arriving on a first date, your image will speak for itself.  You should always dress appropriately for the occasion.  Whether formal or casual, a man should always dress for success! Your clothing selection should be neat and well put together.  Don’t be adventurous by trying a new style or trend; be yourself.  If you are wearing a button down shirt make sure it is clean, crisp and has a firm collar.  Wear jeans that are dark denim and fitted properly.  For some extra flair, try a cardigan or v-neck sweater.  Make sure you have a nice coat to wear with your outfit.  Even though you will be taking it off, it will be the first thing your date sees.  Make sure your shoes are clean and presentable!  If it’s a casual date, be sure to go the extra mile and wear something other than a slogan t-shirt.  Do not wear anything branded or overdesigned.  Stay away from Ed hardy type shirts and save the hidden messages for another time!

Keep in mind whatever image you project on the first date will have to be maintained throughout the dating process.  If you show up on the first date in a well kept suit and then arrive at your second date in a rugged shirt and khakis you have falsely mislead your counterpart.  Search your wardrobe or have an image consultant help arrange “date” outfits that you can wear periodically.  Image consultants can help you navigate your current wardrobe to maximize different outfits you already have.  They have the ability to create outfits that you might otherwise overlook to ensure many different outfit combinations and looks.  For more information about a men’s makeover please call one of our consultants who will be glad to assist you with a successful dating image and profile!

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